The Road to Falmouth
Today’s route is “Harbours & Hills”
The playlist has plenty of frills
You’re supposed to understand
How these tours are often planned
And how we settle the bills
Peter Skellern’s house, Daphne De Maurier’s pitch
Ralph McTell’s too, said the snitch
The route’s been designed
With the homes in mind
Of the slightly famous and rich
We find the Lost Gardens of Heligan
Where Steve starts a cafe shenanigan
Then up and down to Gorran
And the same to Portholland
The switchbacks are worse than Oblivion
Now Ian Dury lived by this sea
In war-time Mevagissey
Our conversations
Turn to EU relations
And the new deal which seem a bit fishy
In Portloe we will lunch at the Ship
The Lugger is passed at a clip
Come back, says Will
But we’ve gone up the hill
For substandard fish fingers and chips
As we get to St Mawes we’re chary
That there won’t be room on the ferry
When there’s places for us
We lead a frog’s chorus
As fellow travellers have to fake merry
With a tyre and a derailleur astray
The cycle shop is forced to delay
One fixed for a price
The other left to advice
Before tapas caps off a great day.
